Every poker player has experienced a bad beat before, and every writer at one point or another has been disappointed in something they have written. It comes with the territory. Besides writing, I have long aspired to be a professional poker player. Like writing, poker is for me about the perceived lifestyle that I can ultimately achieve. Writing helps me release my pent-up creative energy, and poker helps me put my reading people to the test. I’m glad I have both activities in my life, and I’m even gladder that I got out of my own way to finally put myself out there to both write for others and play poker seriously.
Both writing and poker require practice, skill development, thinking, and time to advance. I like that. Also, both in my case have required me to work on my own insecurities. I like to think that I’m still a novice at both, even though I’ve been writing for years and I learned the basics of poker over a decade ago, I still consider myself a beginner at both crafts.
When it comes to writing and playing poker, I need all the mental capacity I can muster to focus. This is part of the reason I cannot be around draining people or chaotic situations for too long. I need my brain to be able to focus on the things I actually enjoy. I know that may sound like I’m having a “better than thou” attitude, but I really don’t. I just rather focus my time and energy on things that make me happy. Writing and poker do that for me.
Tonight I played poker, and it didn’t go well. It was a massacre of sorts, but I’m glad I did it. I’m following through on something I enjoy doing, even if I took a couple of losses in the process. After I embarrassed myself, not once but twice tonight, I decided to write, and just like that, I already feel better. Writing is therapeutic for me, and I’m glad I have it to fall back on in moments like these.
Admittedly, I have some work to do to improve in both writing and poker. I’m a firm believer that you can always do better, and that’s how I feel about life in general. When it comes to writing and poker, I’m happy that I’ve gotten to the point where I’m at least trying, and not only trying but doing. That means more to me than I can truly express. Years ago, I started writing and playing poker, and when the results didn’t immediately turn out the way I had expected, I got scared and quit. I didn’t believe I would do better, and I talked myself out of both writing and playing poker. Now, I’m finally at a place where I feel confident enough to stick with both writing and poker because I find both enjoyable. At least, this is how I feel in the moment. I hope this time around I will stick with both for the long haul.
Every journey starts with just one step, and no one really knows where that journey will end up. I’m finally in a place where I can begin to enjoy the journey when it comes to writing and poker, and that to me is very important.