Life is a funny thing if we allow it to be. I was just thinking about how I’ve experienced many lows in my life, but I’ve experienced some highs too. For me, I’m getting back to appreciating the little things. Well, at least I’m trying to. I have come to determine that my life is made up of “little” wins, and maybe that’s good enough for me. If it hadn’t been for the hardships, I would not have appreciated the good times that came in between. Heck, I probably would have missed the good times if everything went well all the time.
That’s the thing about my life. I don’t have it all figured out, and because I have become so exhausted trying to plan and sort things out, some time ago, I just switched gears. It was like fighting a current. All I was doing was not drowning, but I was still getting farther and farther swept out to sea. So I stopped fighting. Don’t get me wrong, I still have some fight left in me, but it’s on reserve. I have to preserve my strength for when I really need it. So I’m surrendering and seeing where I end up.
I’ve worked hard my whole life, and at some point I took a tally, and things just didn’t add up. So I had a choice to make: keep doing what I was doing and getting nowhere fast, or step out and do what I really want to do and see where it takes me. So far, it’s been filled with uncertainty, but I feel like at this point I’d rather deal with the uncertainty of knowing where I’m going than stay on a course headed somewhere I don’t want to go. That’s how I think when it comes to working a typical 9-5, rather than switching to writing.
I’m also learning not to put too much pressure on myself, or this writing thing will never work. By going at my own pace and with a little bit of structure, I’m having fun writing. If I approach it too rigorously, the fun part will go right out the window. Besides that, writing is, in part, for me as much as for my audience. I want this to be mutually beneficial for all parties involved. So simply put, if I’m not having fun doing it, then I shouldn’t be doing it.
When it comes to my writing, I’m nowhere near where I would like to see things go, but I really am enjoying the journey. Someone once told me, when it came to starting my blog back up, that I just have to do it. “Don’t worry about being perfect, just start.”, were the exact words spoken to me. This was when I was dealing with the anxiety of having to get back on the horse. I’m glad I took that advice. My life has been filled with many lows, but writing is not one of them. I’m thankful that I have the time, the energy, and the mental capacity to switch gears so late in the game and write.