I like the dreamer in me. My therapist thinks I’m engaging in escapism, which I agree with to a degree, but I don’t think my dreams are impossible, nor are they unrealistic. I have a lot of work to do to accomplish my dreams and vision, and most days I don’t know where to start, but deep down I know it’s possible. Even though I don’t have recent proof of this, I believe that if you have a desire to do something and you’re willing to make sacrifices and put in the hard work, anything is accomplishable.
My problem lies in the fact that when I think about my dreams and goals, I often imagine myself with other people that I know. People that I would like to work with either again or for the first time, and THAT’S where I usually run into problems. I have no control over anyone else, which is okay with me, but I get disappointed when reality steps in and someone that I imagined a professional future with rejects my ideas or vision. Funny enough, I’m more disappointed about my professional ambitions not working out more so than things not working out in my love life.
Although my dream takes a hit, reality’s blow offers some reassurance. This world is full of people, people that can offer what I envisioned for my future. So what if I can’t work with the actual people that I had in mind to work with? There may be someone else better for what I have in mind to do. Maybe my idealistic future when it comes to work won’t look anything like what I imagine it to be in my head. I’m still going to work towards it because that’s what I want to do and that’s what I want.
This project that I’m working on, trying to make a way for myself by writing, is important to me. And it requires thinking outside the box. So if part of my fuel to get myself to think outside the box is to imagine how I would like things to turn out, to daydream from time to time, so be it. (Whatever it takes to get through the day.) That’s what being a dreamer is all about. Of course, to dream is one thing, but to work towards those dreams takes things to another level.
Working towards my dream(s) is worth it if it makes me happy and it’s not harming anyone. It took me a lot of time to realize that living life based on how others think I should live got me nowhere, and that includes my professional life. So now I’m doing things differently than before. The dream keeps me going, even on days when I feel a bit stuck. It helps me when I start to waver from the path I decided to take. Dreaming is my fuel sometimes, and it helps. I just shouldn’t dream ALL the time; I get it. I’m willing to do the work also.