I’m feeling mighty good today. I’m pretty sure the new vape pen I’ve tried has something to do with the good vibes going on around my way. These past two weeks have been stressful and filled with a rollercoaster of emotions. Big steps were taken, and some setbacks came with them. I’m happy to be writing again, though. I missed it. I think I’m going to dedicate this post to my awesome therapist. I’m not going to name her, but she has helped me a great deal over the past year.
Now I must say, I have no clue what I’m doing in life. Quite honestly, I’ve just been kind of surviving day by day. I’m in my mid-forties, and I don’t have the answer to much. But even still, in this moment, life is good. (Thank you GOD, therapy, and vape pen). My life hasn’t been easy. Whose has? I just don’t really complain about it. And because of my therapist, I have an emotional outlet for the things that I just don’t quite understand but am trying to work through.
During this chapter of life, I’m trying to get out of my own way when it comes to living. I seem to do better when I just go with the flow, but I have to admit that internally, it’s difficult for me to do. But I rest easy knowing that in this life, humans have very little control over circumstances, even if we like to think otherwise. Control is an illusion to a degree. Basically, the only thing we have control over is our behavior, not much else. That being said, I’m trying to control myself and not misbehave, though it is tempting. But I digress.
Another thing about this chapter that I’m in that I have noticed I’ve been doing is not taking things too seriously. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not reckless, but I’m learning to laugh more instead of crying…save the tears for when they’re actually needed and appropriate. Laugh more. That’s what I’ve been up to. Life can get too heavy sometimes, so I prefer looking for and appreciating the funny. The best part is when I can laugh at myself. I really do try not to take myself too seriously. I know there are some things that I have to take seriously, so I try to respect that and will try my best to accommodate. Other than that, I like to laugh.
As the story of life continues, anything can happen, and in this chapter, who knows what will happen? It’s a possible new beginning if I am searching for one. It can be a chance to correct mistakes or misgivings. Or it can be an opportunity to look ahead. It’s like a blank canvas, and I am the artist. That’s pretty cool. I don’t know how this chapter will turn out. I used to think I had an idea of what I wanted it to be, but circumstances change, so now I’m just at a point where I’m taking it slowly and not trying to worry too much. So, we’ll see what happens.