…may hurt my bones, but words will never hurt me. That, my friends, is one of the biggest lies we were told growing up. Yes, sticks and stones can hurt your bones, but words, yeah, they can do some damage too. In fact, I’d like to say that words hurt more because at least your bones can physically heal, but the impact that words have on your psyche, well, that’s a different story.
I don’t remember the physical pain of shutting my finger in my car door, or the pain of my recovery from when I had foot surgery, but I do remember the painful words from my past from when people were mean to me. I sometimes still feel the shame and embarrassment of those hurtful moments. I can’t play the continual innocent victim, though; just as other people’s words hurt me, I am more than certain that I’ve said things that hurt someone else, too.
Frankly, I’m tired of living in the past and getting in the dumps whenever I remember a hurtful exchange of words that occurred. To be fair to myself, and the beginning of my healing journey, the first thing I have to do is admit that words can hurt and that certain words hurt me. I have to explore why those words hurt me… most likely because, in one way or another, they were true when they were said. Then I have to look at why the truth offends me. I never claimed to be perfect, so what if someone points out a fault of mine?
I guess to go deeper, I have to look at the intention of words being spoken. Maybe it was just my ego and pride that were hurt because the person who spoke those words’ intentions were to hurt me, and they succeeded. Still, when I think back to a few times when words were spoken that really negatively triggered me, I don’t really think about the person who said whatever they said. I think about the words themselves and the situation I was in more. Okay, every once in a while I do think about the person who spoke the words. Most likely, they are no longer a part of my life for some obvious and not so obvious reasons, but I don’t harbor resentment towards them, just the words.
The point I’m trying to make with this post is that words hurt, and in most cases they do more damage than sticks and stones. Words have power, and they can change the outcome of a situation for better or worse. I wish we could at least start by acknowledging that words can hurt instead of lying and saying they don’t. I think we all know that words can hurt, or why else would we be so quick with our mouths when we get into an argument with someone? It’s important to note that once words are spoken, you can’t take them back. I guess a good rule of thumb would be to be assertive but not aggressive with your words and use them wisely.